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Wedding Bliss Tough on Budgets
By Patti Pfeiffer
I'm making three admissions from the start. Being matrimony month, this isn't going to be a popular piece. Second, I'm not a parent. Lastly, it's none of my business, yet I don't get it...
Recently a family friend announced her daughter was getting married this summer. The joyous news was jilted by the ugly truth of having to take out a personal loan to pay for the wedding.
"You've got to be kidding? For what? Photos that will hang on the wall and gather dust?" I blurted out.
Like most girls, I grew up dreaming of my wedding day. Before I was old enough to wobble in high heels, the entire occasion was planned: Walking down the aisle adorned in an elegant white gown with puffed lacey sleeves, pearl-lined bodice, trailed by an elaborate flowing train. My perfectly styled hair would be crowned with a tiara securing an exquisite veil. The intimate church would be filled with family, friends and overflowing with flowers. There'd be a soloist, rose petals, glowing candles. And, of course, my tuxedo-clad dad would escort me to my altar-awaiting prince before all attendees retired to a sit-down gourmet feast and cork-popping, orchestra-playing Cinderella-like ball of a night. Then the honeymoon. Ooh-la-la.
I was still a bra-stuffing teenybopper when my wedding dress was chosen. Decades later the yellowed, newspaper advertisement surfaced among a trove of treasured childhood relics. I smiled. It was a dream. Yet a dream so often dreamed. And one that commonly becomes reality. But at what cost?
The bridal business is a huge business, more specifically a $48 billion dollar industry and increasing. Couples are ignoring tough times and bleak economical news and splurging on their big day. For the first time in four years the average wedding cost -- which includes location, planner, band, photographer, florist, dress, cake, musicians, invitations, limo, rehearsal dinner and engagement ring -- has risen. The reception venue carries the largest price tag accounting for half of the bridal budget. Average cost per guest is $196.
However, there are ways to cut costs. Agnes Sunday, owner of Sunday's Bridal, caters to brides on a budget, reselling wedding gowns at 50-85 percent off retail. She sells 40-50 gowns a month even shipping overseas.
In preparation of the tying-the-knot, marriage-planning website TheKnot.com suggests to couples that, "As soon as you're engaged, start putting aside as much of your income as you can for the wedding. Saving 20 percent of your monthly income is a good -- though painful -- goal. The longer your engagement, the more you'll be able to sock away."
You've got to be kidding? Twenty percent of income? Insanity. Better to sock away than be weighed under. Going into debt isn't the wisest way to begin a life together. But why should the couple start off in the red when parents are willing to finance the festivities? Hey lovebirds, strap your parents instead.
No doubt getting married is a huge deal and one very worthy of celebration, especially now when shacking-up is often preferred over hitching-up and traditional marriage is under attack. But times are tough, money is tight and there are alternatives.
Once-upon-a-time in a not so far away bordering state there was a couple who fell in love and weeks later decided to get married. Though eloping was planned, two family members became witnesses to the exchanging of vows on a balcony overlooking an aqua-colored lake enveloped by mountains as the orange orb melded into the western horizon. Romance filled the air. The summer breeze wisped. Birds chirped.
Simple, inexpensive and 15 years later the memories are instantly and vividly recalled. It was priceless. The designer dress, bouquet, photographer, license and other expenses totaled less than $1,500. A reception was held later to celebrate the marriage. No debt was incurred. Really? What a unique concept.
I don't begrudge my friend going underwater for a wedding. I understand the position: only daughter, hopefully a once-in-a-lifetime event and a life-altering occasion. Marriage is worthy of all of the hoopla, just not huge debt.
So I don't get it. Then again I wasn't born in the "me" generation but rather the "thee" generation. I have a tendency to put others before self. Ours was a middle class family. I didn't expect, ask, nor would I have allowed my parents to take out a big loan to pay for my big day. Then again, times have changed.
Patti Pfeiffer is a columnist for Star Local News, freelance writer and author. She can be reached at pattip913@msn.com
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