Faith, family, fortitude: McKinney grandmother regards breast cancer experience as a 'blessing'

Every time McKinney resident Marilyn Nelson's birthday rolls around, she picks up the phone and makes an appointment to get her yearly well-woman checkup, including a mammogram.

"I've used that for a long time," Nelson said. "I worked at a clinic, and one of the doctors kind of brought that up as a good reminder: 'This is a good birthday present to yourself.'"

When last year's tests resulted in a breast cancer diagnosis, Nelson contemplated how she would tell her two sons - Patrick, 42, and Byron, 38 - who had seen their grandmother face the same news decades before.

Nelson's mother was in her mid-40s when she was diagnosed with breast cancer almost 30 years ago.

"My treatment was a lot different than hers," Nelson said. "When she was diagnosed back then, all they did - she had a radical mastectomy - they took muscle and the whole nine yards off her chest wall. They don't get so rampant like that now. They didn't do any follow-up like chemo or radiation.

"[Mom] fought for almost 20 years with it. My mother was a very strong person," Nelson said.

She said she thinks she has drawn upon that strength during her own experience with breast cancer, which also included a radical mastectomy. Even so, Nelson said she was "extremely nervous" about receiving radiation treatment.

"I'm not very good around machines," Nelson said. "When you're on the table, 20 seconds seems like an eternity.

"I had my husband [Scott] go with me just so he could sort of see what they were doing ... he told me there was nothing to worry about. That helped. That's what I needed: the reassurance, more than anything. I just needed that little extra boost in there," Nelson said.

Dr. Radha Iyengar, Nelson's breast surgeon at Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital Allen, created a cancer support group that Nelson credits as among the many sources of encouragement she has received - from her family to the YMCA and Livestrong to other doctors and staff at the hospital.

Iyengar said the group helps her cancer patients "connect with other survivors ... it's on a much more personal level. I think the women who come to the group ...[find that it] is exactly what it is: support. It gives them the chance to be proactive.

"You can tell from the first minute you see [Nelson] that she's a very positive person with a good heart, one of those people you instantly like," Iyengar said.

"I think women in general take on a lot - they have a lot of roles they play," Iyengar said. "When they go through the process of treatment and everything, they realize they can't do everything they're used to doing, and that makes them feel even worse. They have to realize that they need to be OK with asking for help, and they need to be OK with accepting help."

And Nelson has discovered through her recovery that "help" can flow both ways.

"It kind of helps me with my grandchildren. They have goals, and they see me setting my goal. It helps them with their goals. I have a goal of walking three miles. I'm up to a mile and a half - since April. To someone else that might not seem like a big thing - but trust me, it's a big thing," Nelson said.

"Some people don't need a lot of sleep ... Some people are used to getting enough exercise. People need to understand what it is they need," Iyengar said. "All we can do is get a woman back to the same timeline she was at ... and how she chooses to live the rest of her life [is up to her]."

Nelson has taken that lesson to heart.

"I have learned now that if I do not take care of myself, I'm the one who gets tired, I'm the one who gets sick," Nelson said. "If I take 15 or 20 minutes to rest, who's it gonna hurt?

"I guess I didn't realize until I got into the Livestrong program how much the chemo had taken out of me," said Nelson, adding that after her recent reconstructive surgery, "It took me half an hour to walk a mile. But tomorrow I'll walk again.

"When I told [my sons], I let my children tell their children ... One granddaughter said she was afraid. My son told her, 'Do I look afraid? When I look afraid, then you can be afraid.'

"[Without] having my strong faith and my trust in my God, I would not have been able to get through this," Nelson said. "I count it more as a blessing. I have had wonderful medical care. You would not believe the support system I've had because of this. God has a plan for me ... and I'm not done yet."

Nelson said she feels, after her last checkup, that she's cancer-free - a fact she will celebrate during the holidays, when Scott's family comes to visit.

"At Christmas we'll do something special. I don't know yet - probably bake a cake. Because basically, when you think about it, it's like a brand-new birthday."

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